Fears are something you can’t get away with. Everyone has them, which may or may not be same. Some fear the dark, some fear elevators, some fear monsters under the bed and some fear the human race itself! These are individual fears but some fears are shared by a quite a few people, a community.
(Did you just think about Trump? 😉 )
Being a fat person comes with its own set of fears. Fears that all of us have – men, women and children. It’s not like someone makes you fear these, you can say activities or situations, but it comes along with us, our existence, the fat and overweight ones.
My worst fear is fainting on the street. Not just fainting but just even being injured or ill to an extent that I cannot pick myself up. I mean, will anyone ever be able to pick me up and rush me to a nearby safe place without thinking or saying ‘damn she’s heavy!’ Or can there ever be a chance of someone, just one person, managing to pick me up if, God forbid, I ever faint for whatever reasons. Wouldn’t it cause that person a lot of trouble just trying to save a fat person? The thought if it haunts me. In fact, even embarrasses me and makes me never want to fall.
Another instance which subconsciously makes me jittery is to sit on a table top. Or climb up a ladder or stand on a chair, etc. It always comes with a feeling of the table toppling over or the ladder giving away. Frankly, if you go by physics, anyone who sits on a table top not maintaining equilibrium will make it topple, but we just seem to have more chances at even breaking it (or so we think?). Nothing’s to be blamed here though except this immense fear. I can’t think of more instances or circumstances, the thought of which terrifies me as much as these two.
I am sure though there are a lot more subconscious fears I am yet to encounter.
Like getting on a seemingly full elevator for the embarrassment I’d have to face if it beeped, or having to get off a car/bike climbing a steep cliff because it cannot take my weight, or losing my balance and tumbling down like a barrel when rushing down a flight of stairs.
The list may be endless, and it certainly comes from deep within.