Life takes weird turns. One never knows what’s next – good, bad or ugly. For me, this year has been good and bad, both. What was supposedly a good start to the year (January passed by with a lot of travelling and adventures), led me into a phase of life where everything started to look cloudy. The house I loved started to feel claustrophobic, the city I adored lacked warmth or welcome, work became forceful and meaningless, my favourite food wouldnt make me glee anymore, explaining myself became tough. I felt lost, but I wasn’t going to let the world see that.
We live in a time where everything is show cause. Status updates are a validation to one’s happening life. Fake candids make you look (and feel) like the happiest soul in the world. We live in a time where the eyes lie. We live in a world where fake is the new real. In the wake of coming out as strong and positive, people forget that they are humans, filled with emotions. People forget, rather, deny to feel. Being “practical”, “logical” and “unattached” are the code words to success.
I, however, was tired. Not the ‘physically lethargic’ tired, but tired of having to put up with being unabashedly optimistic. In the process of being positive and spreading positivity, I started loathing myself. Where’s the positivity in that? I was ashamed to be human again. I flinched at the thought of letting my confusing thoughts show to the world. The only mantra was – Stay strong. Denying myself the right to feel was changing who I am. So, slowly, and then all at once, I let go, and broke down. And I feel better than ever now!
It’s not easy showing your true self, or even accepting your true self as you think it may make you look weak, but we all have our demons. Overcoming them may not be possible, but learning to accept them and live with them is going to make life so much more worth living! The world is much more accepting than we think it is. Life is much more delicate, unpredictable and shorter than we can even imagine.
Don’t hold back. Don’t stay strong. Stay broken. Because, if we are all not a little broken, where will the light enter from?